Domestics

As usual, I wanted to start by a bit of scene setting. I'm off on another wee jolly. This time, I'm breaking myself in gently by visiting our ex-colonial cousins in North America for a couple of weeks, followed by a spectacularly dangerous backpack along the Mexican drug route (pictured below). The plan as it currently stands, is to start in Miami and get as far as Guatemala, El Salvador and finally Belize, but we'll see if the 8 weeks I have allowed is enough for all of that. Once in Mexico, almost every single town I expect to stop at, is a handing off point for narcotics moving from South America in to the USA. That being the case, the chances of being shot dead, kidnapped or just simply mugged, is even higher than normal. I'll be honest and admit to a few butterflies about all of those possibilities, shot dead being probably my least favourite of all.    

As I’m going to the America’s. That means there will undoubtedly be an enormous amount of excellent food on offer. from Southern BBQ, to Mexican burritos, tacos, tortillas, quesadillas - basically all the same fare but folded slightly differently. The hope is that a fortnight in the USA getting fat will be offset by 6 weeks of Mexican food poisoning and resultant weight loss. 

It also means there will likely be a great deal of Aerosmith, a small dose of Van Halen and maybe a touch of Guns n Roses to add some attitude to the mix by way of a soundtrack. Obviously I’ll include a sprinkling of Def Leppard, so as not to ignore Her Britannic Majesty’s favourite rock gods (we did gift the genre to the world after all). 

I will be leaving my Union Jack shorts in the drawer at home this time around - our reputation for even handed hegemony in the world never really recovered after Suez, and a degree of anonymity is my only real defence against being beheaded by a Mexican drug cartel. Following the same logic, my pith helmet, swagger stick and most eccentric genocidal Victorian Generals Panini sticker album also remain in storage for this trip. ....I imagine it will be fine.