Guatemalans are it is fair to say, a diminutive people. I’m a clear foot taller than the tallest Guatemalan I’ve seen and most of the women are four foot nothing in heels. Quite honestly I feel a bit like Gulliver.
It does give one a bit of confidence should a riot erupt, but one also has to have a care not to intimidate and a friendly smile I find goes a long way. The very moment I learn how to smile without it looking like a creepy lopsided grimace, I’ll be sure to employ one.
Also, there’s no menace in these people as far as I’ve seen. God knows how they got a reputation for being a bit dodgy and all this civil war business seems terribly unlikely to me. They’re all far too busy finding a pot to piss in to be feisty. And given how poor they are, they do seem almost unreasonably cheerful. Good for them I say. I’ve got a couple of coppers to my name and I’m miserable 90% of the time. There’s a lesson in there somewhere you know.
So I’ve gotta tell you, the TransferWise Borderless Debit card is an absolute marvel. No longer do I have to swallow condoms stuffed full of US Dollars and remember where I’ve hidden my arse tweezers, no longer do I have to remove a filling to retrieve my emergency $20 so I can phone my mum to come and get me, all I have to do is make sure I keep my TransferWise Mastercard clenched firmly in my butt cheeks at all times, and I have a safe and secure, if sweaty, method of paying for my hotel rooms and meals out whatever the currency.
Today has been mostly getting familiar with Lake Atitlan and its people and its rock bars, and I've learned that time marches on even in these parts. When I was last in the region four years ago, I was indoctrinated and joined the fist bump fraternity. These days, the standard greeting has evolved. Now everyone kinda slides palm against palm and finishes with a bump to seal the deal. It is ubiquitous regardless of age or circumstance, and if you don't play along, you just get involved in an embarrassing game of rock, paper, scissors, and feel like you have to give an extra large tip to make up for your poor form. I've started playing along.
They're a tiny tiny folk but with an enormous capacity for improving their stature with the addition of a hat full of useless nik-naks.
Can you believe I found tea? ..AND a slightly stale chocolatine. Not exactly PG Tips, but a genuine herbal infusion nonetheless.
Let - Us - Rock. ...And don't forget to dress appropriately.
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